Here are just a few examples of conflicts that may occur among college students:.
So how can such conflicts be resolved? Two things are necessary for conflict resolution A step-by-step process designed to resolve a dispute or disagreement.
A conflict cannot be resolved satisfactorily unless all people involved have the right attitude:. With the right attitude, you can then work together to resolve the issue.
This process depends on good communication:. The process of conflict resolution is discussed more fully in Chapter 10 "Taking Control of Your Health". In most cases, when the people involved have a good attitude and are open to compromise, conflicts can be resolved successfully.
Yet sometimes there seems to be no resolution. Sometimes the other person may simply be difficult and refuse to even try to work out a solution. Regrettably, not everyone on or off campus is mature enough to be open to other perspectives. With some interpersonal conflicts, you may simply have to decide not to see that person anymore or find other ways to avoid the conflict in the future.
At many colleges students just out of high school must live in a campus residence hall. Other students may live in a shared apartment with new roommates. This is the first time many students have had to share a room, suite, or apartment with others who were not family members, and this situation may lead to conflicts and strong feelings that can even affect your academic success.
As in other interactions, the keys to forming a good relationship with a roommate are communication and attitude. Even if your roommate does not become a close friend, you can have a harmonious, successful relationship that makes your residence a good home for both of you.
Millions of college students before you have learned to work this out, and if both or all of you respect each other and keep communication open and nonconfrontational, you will easily get through the small bumps in the road ahead, too. Follow these guidelines to help ensure you get along well:. In some situations and with some people who will not compromise and do not respect you and your needs, a roommate can be a serious problem. In some circumstances, you may able to move to a different room. The following are some examples:. If you have a problem like this, first talk with your resident advisor RA or other residence hall authority.
They will explain the process for a room change, if warranted, or other ways for managing the problem,. Although college campuses are for the most part safe, secure, and friendly places where social and intellectual interaction is generally mature and responsible, harassment can occur in any setting.
Harassment Actions or words meant to disturb, belittle, or torment another person. Typically the person or people doing the harassment target their victim because of a difference in race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, sex, age, sexual orientation, or disability. Acts of harassment may be verbal, physical, psychological, or any other behavior intended to disturb another person. Bullying behavior, name-calling, belittling, gesturing obscenely, stalking, mobbing—any action intended to torment or deliberately make another person uncomfortable or feel humiliated is harassment.
Harassment may also be intended to manipulate a targeted person to act in some specific way. Sexual harassment is a special term referring to persistent, unwanted sexual behaviors or advances. Sexual harassment may begin with words but progress to unwanted touching and potentially even rape.
Many types of harassment are illegal. In the workplace, a supervisor who tells off-color sexual jokes around an employee of the opposite gender may be guilty of sexual harassment.
Students who deliberately malign members of another race may be guilty of committing a hate crime. Physically tormenting another student in a hazing may be judged assault and battery. Any discrimination in the workplace based on race, religion, age, sex, and so on is illegal. On a college campus, any harassment of a student by a faculty member or college employee is expressly forbidden, unethical, and also possibly illegal. Harassment of any type, at any time, of any person, is wrong and unacceptable. You will know it if you are harassed, and you should know also that it is your basic right to be free of harassment and that your college has strict policies against all forms of harassment.
Any time there is change, issues may arise. Honesty is particularly important—but with tact and understanding. Here are some tips for getting along:. Describe two or three nonverbal signals that could give the wrong impression. For each of the following statements about effective communication, circle T for true or F for false:. You are upset because your roommate or a family member always seems to have several friends over just when you need to study most. If another person is acting very emotionally and is harassing you, what should you not do at that moment?
Being in a long term relationship is a test of a person's ability to compromise. They must be willing to accept that the other person does not always see things. What is get along (phrasal verb)? get along (phrasal verb) meaning, pronunciation and if people get along, they like each other and are friendly to each other.
Table of Contents. Next Section. Improve your communication skills. Use online social networking beneficially. Balance your social life with your schoolwork. Describe how to successfully resolve a conflict with another person. Consider how these two college students are different: John often arrives just as class is beginning and leaves immediately afterward.
Recognize the Value of Social Interaction Building good relationships is important for happiness and a successful college experience. Make the most of this opportunity to gain a number of benefits: A growing understanding of diverse other people, how they think, and what they feel that will serve you well throughout your life and in your future career A heightened sense of your own identity, especially as you interact with others with different personalities and from different backgrounds Emotional comfort from friendship with someone who understands you and with whom you can talk about your problems, joys, hopes, and fears An opportunity to grow with wider intellectual and emotional horizons College often offers an opportunity to be stimulated and excited by new relationships and interactions with people who will challenge your thinking and help you become your best.
Making New Friends Some people just make friends naturally, but many first-year college students are more shy or quiet and may need to actively seek new friends. Here are some starting points: Keep all doors open for meeting new people.
If you live in a dorm, literally keep the door open. Try to sit with different people at meals so you can get to know them better. Be open in your interests. Meeting people by studying together is an excellent way to get to know people with different interests. Committing to too many activities or joining too many social groups will spread your time too thin, and you may not spend enough time with anyone to get to know them.
Let others see who you really are. People who really know you are more likely to become good friends. Make an effort to get to know others, too. Show some interest. Once a friendship has started, be a good friend. Give emotional support when your friends need it and accept their support as well when you need it.
Are You Shy? Communication Skills Communication is at the core of almost all social interactions, including those involved in friendships and relationships with your instructors. Here are some guidelines for how to listen effectively: Talk less to listen more. Most people naturally like to share their thoughts and feelings, and some people almost seem unable to stop talking long enough to ever listen to another person.
You may notice a big difference in how much you gain from the conversation. Ask questions. To keep the conversational ball rolling, show your interest in the other person by asking them about things they are saying. This helps the other person feel that you are interested in them and helps build the relationship. Strongly disagreeing may only put the other person on the defensive—an emotion sure to disrupt the hope for good communication.
You can disagree, but be respectful to keep the conversation from becoming emotional. Make sure that your side of a conversation relates to what the other person is saying and that it focuses on what you have in common.
Avoid sarcasm and irony unless you know the person well. The other person will feel that you are imitating them and maybe even making fun of them. Be yourself and speak naturally. While not imitating the other person, relate to his or her personality and style of thinking.
Show your respect for the other person by keeping the conversation on an appropriate level. Remember that assertive communication Communication that is self-assured, positive, and honest but still tactful and nonaggressive. A passive communicator is reluctant to speak up, seems to agree with everything others say, hesitates to say anything that others might disagree with, and therefore seldom communicates much at all.
Aggressive communication One-sided communication in which a speaker attacks what others say or uses a pushy, domineering style to express ideas or thoughts. This communication style may be sarcastic, emotional, and even insulting. Real communication is not occurring because others are not prompted to respond honestly and openly.
Choose your conversations wisely. Make it your goal to form relationships and engage in interactions that help you learn and grow as a person. Online Social Networking Most college students know all about Facebook, Twitter, blogging, chat rooms, and other social networking The use of a Web site to connect with people who share personal or professional interests. Following are some of the benefits of Facebook—some clear to those using it, others revealed only recently by research in the social sciences: Facebook and other forms of online networking makes it easy to stay in touch with friends and family at a geographical distance.
College students who have moved away from former friends seem to make the transition more easily when they stay in touch. Maintaining past relationships does not prevent most people from making new friends at college. Facebook users gain information, opportunities for participation in activities and groups, greater knowledge about others, some interaction skills, and so forth. Social capital is also associated with self-esteem, success in some endeavors, and general happiness.